Offering support

If you witness sexual or gender-based violence on our campus, there are several ways to intervene safely. For example, you could:

• confront the perpetrator directly and tell them that their behaviour is inappropriate
• create a distraction to help the victim get out of the situation
• call a person or a unit that can intervene on your behalf, such as Protection Services at 613-562-5411
• use humour, if appropriate, or body language or silence to show your disapproval
• take care of the victim, asking them how you can support them going forward  

Regardless of what you choose to do, the safety of everyone involved is paramount. Although you are free to intervene, we recommend that you enlist the help of a third party. It’s not necessarily the action itself that’s important. Rather, it’s the decision to step up in order to prevent incidents, protect victims and stop violence on our campus. We all have a role to play!  

If you wish to disclose a situation you have witnessed, you can contact the Human Rights Office in complete confidentiality at [email protected].  

Would you like to find out more about bystander intervention? The Sexual Violence Prevention and Response team offers a workshop called Mobilizing the Bystanders. To find out more about the workshop and to register, visit the Training page.

To test your knowledge of bystander intervention, take part in the #JustGotWeird campaign. Different scenarios will put your bystander skills to the test and show you how to be an active bystander on campus.  

At some time during their academic or professional careers, members of the University community may encounter a disclosure of sexual violence, i.e., an account by someone who has suffered sexual violence. Studies have shown that, if properly managed, disclosure can have a significant impact not only on the survivor’s ability to cope with the incident, but also on their long-term wellbeing.

We suggest that when you respond to a disclosure, you use words and gestures that take into account the wishes, needs and pace of the survivor. Although you may not always know exactly what to do, the important thing is to support the person and help them find useful resources, if and when they want them.  

When someone discloses a situation involving sexual violence to you, we recommend that you proceed in this way: 

Listen

Be empathetic and listen actively. Reassure the person about confidentiality. Thank the person for telling you and for trusting you, and say that you know how difficult and distressing their situation is. Acknowledge the huge step that the survivor is taking. 

Believe 

Validate and normalize the survivor’s reactions. Reassure them that these are understandable, common responses to this type of trauma. Let them know it wasn’t their fault. Many survivors often feel guilty after experiencing sexual violence. 

Give power back

Following a disclosure of sexual violence, it’s important to give power back to the survivor. When you discuss options with the survivor, you can help the person regain control of their life by trusting their decisions. Remember that their decision may be different from yours. Emphasize their “successes,” and highlight their strength and courage in talking about the traumatic event. The important thing is to continue to support the person despite everything, and to remind them that your door is always open.

Look after yourself

Helping others can take a lot of your own energy. If you’re supporting a survivor of sexual violence, remember to take care of yourself and get the tools you need. This step is critical in order to ensure your well-being and support the members of our community more effectively.

Here are a few suggestions to help you respond to a disclosure:

What not to do

Blame the survivor, for example, DO NOT

• Suggest that the person is lying or that the incident is not believable  
• Discuss prevention techniques (“Next time...”)
• Cause the person to feel shame or guilt by making them feel that they’re responsible for what happened
• Minimize the act of violence
• Perpetuate sexual violence myths by the things you say  
• Question the perpetrator’s intentions  
• Encourage the person to keep the violence secret, so as not to cause problems for the perpetrator  

Treat the person differently, for example, DO NOT

• Treat the person as if they were damaged or infantilize them  
• Overprotect the person
• Avoid talking to, or spending time with, the person after the disclosure
• Believe that the person is not capable of making decisions for themselves, and make decisions for them without their consent  

Respond in a self-centred way, for example,  DO NOT

• Give more importance to your own feelings than to those of the survivor
• Overreact or require reassurance from the survivor
• Act annoyed at the thought of having to make time to support the person
• Seek revenge on behalf of the person and take over

What to do instead

• Respect the principle of confidentiality. If you feel you have an obligation to disclose the situation, inform the survivor as soon as possible. Transparency is essential.  
• Be open and non-judgmental.
• Validate the person’s reactions, emotions and feelings.  
• Recognize that sexual violence has many short-, medium- and long-term consequences, including  
  • Physical problems: headaches, fatigue, sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancy, injuries, etc.
  • Psychological problems: sadness, denial, depression, guilt, anger, shame, fear, nightmares, irritability, etc.
  • Sexual problems: decreased desire or promiscuity, disgust, pain during intercourse, avoidance, etc.
  • Interpersonal problems: dependence on others for support, isolation, rejection, lack of trust, victimization, etc.
  • Frustration or anxiety related to: legal processes, heightened sensitivity to prejudices, feeling powerless over  their life, etc.
  • Financial, social or family problems: difficulty at work, rejection by friends, loss of income, etc.
  • Addiction problems: alcohol, drugs, gambling, medication, food, exercise, self-harm, etc.
• Respect the survivor’s right to choose
  • Next steps
  • What the person does or doesn’t disclose, and to whom  
• Help the person find and/or access resources. You can offer to accompany the person or refer them directly to a resource, such as the Human Rights Office, to help them get support.  

According to University of Ottawa Policy 67b – Prevention of Sexual Violence, when a member of the University community receives a disclosure, they must: 

1. Inform the survivor about Policy 67b. For example, you could say,

   “Thank you for telling me what happened. Did you know there’s a policy that covers this kind of situation and explains where you can find information on the resources and options available to you?” 

2. Let the person know they can contact the Human Rights Office for support and information on available services (including academic and workplace accommodations) and complaint options. However, in an emergency, contact Protection Services for immediate assistance. You could say, for example,  

   “Did you also know that you can contact the Human Rights Office for support and information about your options? You’ll be able to speak to a specialized counsellor in complete confidentiality. By the way, you don’t have to file an official complaint to receive services from the Office.”

Are you a manager?

If you hold a management position, your obligations may be different if one of your employees discloses a situation involving sexual violence. Under the Occupational Health and Safety Act, the University has legal obligations to its employees in matters involving violence and harassment in the workplace. If you receive a disclosure, contact the Human Rights Office or Human Resources before taking action. Someone will be able to guide you, based on the situation.  

Lastly, whatever the situation, don’t hesitate to contact the Human Rights Office Sexual Violence Prevention and Response team for a quick, confidential consultation.